BRAIN ACTIVITY

If you know me well, you'd probably know I have quite a disturbing mind to say the least. I've been listening Lana Del Rey a lot lately and that vampire-esque sure know how to make her listener morbid and a little psycho. Each time I listen to RIDE, I get very Criminal Mind like but in this case, I'm the criminal. Let me paint the picture in your head so I can leave you feeling disturbed too.

RIDE, Lana Del Rey plays.

Scene #1, Evening, 1900 hours

A group of two-faced bitches having a gathering, sort of like a Two-Faced Bitches Anonymous. They gather over a bonfire, sorta like a little outdoorsy barbecue in some forest or plain field. Everyone's sharing about some stuff they've done in the past, how they've been a two-faced bitch and there were food.

Scene #2. Late evening, 2100 hours

I was taking a stroll in the same area when I stumble upon this TFBA. I hid behind some bushes/trees and peek at them. I realized that I know some of them and these bitches, I despise to the core. I want nothing but death for them.

Scene #3. Midnight, 2400 hours

I listened for 3 hours and though they were sharing on how they've been a two-faced bitch in the past, they weren't feeling remorse nor regret over being a TFB. One of them, a girl; she got up and went to the river to get some water. Something came over me...I followed her and I knocked her down with a rock, she fell flat not knowing who hit her. I took the Swiss army knife in her pocket and push her down the river. Bitches gonna die young.

Scene #4. Midnight, 2430 hours

The group wasn't aware of the girl's disappearance, they were still talking and giggling. I cut through one of their camps and took a bigger piece of knife in one of these bitches' bag. The adrenaline rushed in...I walked out and the TFB asked what I'm doing here. I walk to one of them and took out the knife from behind and slit her throat.

Scene #5. Morning, 0100 hours

They panicked but did not move (cause that's what dumb bitches do) and I was feeling the satisfaction of killing these bitches. One by one, they fall with blood squirting out. Throats slit, gut stabbed. Half an hour later, all these TFB were nothing but corpse laid around the bonfire. My knife, dripping with blood.

Scene #6. Morning, 0130 hours

I walked in circle, around the TFB corpses, smiling with satisfaction unaware of what's coming next. The bonfire, burning brightly.

Scene #7. Morning 0200 hours

The police came, with their guns pointing at me (not the guns down below, the actual gun. How I wish it's the guns down below though) asking me to "DROP THE WEAPON AND HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!" I couldn't hear a word they were saying. All I could see is blood. I continue to walk in circle. (imagine if I say "Bring the action. It's Britney, bitch")

Scene #8 Morning, 0300 hours

An hour later, I'm still walking in circle and when a policeman decides to walk forward to me wanting to calm me down, I turned around and stabbed him in the gut. Right after that, a gun shot was fired. I fell, with a bullet to my chest. 

RIDE, Lana Del Rey ends...

I WANNA HAVE BABIES.

Having nothing else to watch, I decided to watch all of Private Practice's final season since I've downloaded but yet to watch a single episode. Used to be a PP fan but then things got kinda boring. There were more of personal drama than medical/patient drama. So I thought I'd give it a shot since it's the last season already.

Private Practice is a spin-off from Grey's Anatomy, the show with all the hottest male doctors and we all know most spin-offs fail in comparison to their original show. Private Practice however, managed to separate itself from Grey's. It's also set in a different location. Season 6 marks the end of Private Practice. That's good bye to Addison Forbes-Montgomery whom always look so damn good eversince her appearance in Grey's. She didn't look that awesome since Private Practice made her their main character.

Season 6 is all about babies. If you don't know much about Private Practice, I won't be telling you the story or a synopsis of it. There's the internet with a search engine called Google and there's this website called Wikipedia. Go figure. I'm not blogging to tell you about the show. I'll just explain it enough for you to know what this show is about. It's about a bunch of doctors and patients in some practice and they are filthy rich. Throw in sex and love, you get the equation. I'm here to blog about how I feel after watching the series' finale. Yes, me cause it's my blog and it's all about me. I know you might think I sound so mean, so bitchy but really...I'm saying this in a very nice manner, possibly the nicest way I can sound through the Internet.

Season 6 was all about babies cause one of the doctors, Charlotte King was pregger with triplets. Yeah, bitch carried 3 spawn of a doctor Cooper Freedman, a pediatrician. So about episode 7 onwards, it's all about the triplets and when Charlotte finally delivers, prepare some tissues cause you will cry and go "awwww." One of the triplet was born prematurely at week 26 of the pregnancy. She had to go through surgeries and be put on ventilator to survive (oh, and all 3 are girls). Although it's just a medical drama for television, it all felt so real as Addison guide Charlotte through the pregnancy and tells her of the risk of carrying triplets, that one might not survive. They could not afford having the 2 other girls out at week 26 so Charlotte's cervix had to be sew shut and be put on an upside down laying position to prevent any further contraction. That's motherhood to y'all bitches! Week 36 and Charlotte finally delivers the other 2 and they were named Georgia, Caroline and Rachel Freedman.

By the end of the series, I just feel like I want a family of my own. Babies! Babies are so cute and adorable. I wanna carry them and sing them to sleep. They are such a miracle...until they start to throw things at you, kick, bite, punch you and whine about how their life sucks. That's when you're reminded that they are not the miracle you had hoped for. That's when you send them off somewhere far away (that's why we have boarding school or homes?) and pick them back when they are 16 or older.

I would not read fairy-tale to my children. Hell no. What is so real about some Princesses waiting on their Prince Charming? Climbing down a tower by her long locks of hair? Glass slippers that would only fit her? Or, choking on a poisoned apple and to be awaken through true love's kiss? Or some mermaid Princess turning into a human? Bitch please, get real. If you climb down a tower by your long locks of hair, you will probably scrap your scalp off and fall to death. Glass slippers that fits no one but you? You think you're the only size 6? Even if it fits you only, bitch would probably break the glass slippers while walking and stabs her feet with glass shards and die from some infection. Choked on an apple? Poisoned apple? A kiss from true love won't wake you up. That will just get your vagina wet. What you need is for someone to push your abdomen so that piece of apple would come out and if it's poison, nothing can help you. If you're a fish and suddenly you get a pair of legs, you'd be busy playing with your vagina instead of looking for love. I would probably read to my children some Fifty Shades Of Grey (by the time I have kids, God knows how many shades there will be).

Nursery rhymes? Bitch please, my children are gonna be listening to Nicki Minaj and when they think they are all that, I'm gonna sing them "Twinkle, twinkle, little whore. Shut your legs, they're not a door."

So, anyone need a God Parent? (just till I get my own then I'll screw up my own kids)

SHE A STUPID HOE.

Been going through few of Nicki Minaj's songs and here's the thing with Nicki Minaj/Onika Maraj/Roman Zolanski/Martha Zolanski/Harajuku Barbie or whatever dum fuk she calls herself. Nicki Minaj raps real shitty rap when she collaborates with black male rapper. Not that I'm spilling racist beans here but she a stupid hoe when she starts rapping with some black nigga brotha from another mother and father.

Take for example, Dance (A$$) where Big Sean featured Nicki. The only words coming out from that stupid hoe's mouth were ass and pussy. Then there's Where Them Girls At by David Guetta featuring Flo Rida (another garbage rapper) and Nicki Minaj.

Nicki must be put on supervision when she raps, else...it ain't smart stuff coming outta that stupid hoe's mouth (stupid, stupid). Her attempt to rap solo fails to impress at times too. Let's just say Stupid Hoe wasn't a smart number. Then there's Beez In The Trap which I will not link nor talk about it. The title says more than enough. Her other solo attempts are decent cause the beat of the music is addictive.

Now, let's take a look at Nicki's other good/decent rap. When she did Fly with Rihanna, it was good. Superbass is good to dance to, Starships was nice until it got really redundant. When David Guetta featured Minaj in Turn Me On, that was gooooood, right? And the most recent one with Alicia Keys for the inferno version of Girl On Fire was good. There are some artists that you can say they churn out some of the best tunes and you will consistently like them but Nicki gives everyone a mixed feeling. I like the whole cuckoo-ness about her but girl, you gotta rape with some sense. I still love that Nicki from Check It Out.

Conclusion, don't let Nicki rap with no nigga brotha from another motha and father. Stupid hoe is my enemy. Stupid hoe is so wack. Stupid hoe shoulda befriended me.

UNICORN!

Word Of The Day; UNICORN

A STUDDED LOVE-AFFAIR

I have an addiction. An addiction to fashion studs. Unfortunately, there are no support group for people like me to keep the addiction under control. I can't be studding everything I see. I have two person who influenced this studding trend, Lady Gaga and Georgina Sparks (Gossip Girl).

Though Gaga has toned down her studded material in her clothing, she was once a heavy influence on me but I couldn't find a place to express my little interest for fashion/DIY studs. Georgina Sparks reignited my desire for fashion studs when she was seen having an iPhone casing with pyramid studs. Throughout that particular episode of Gossip Girl, all I could think of was "I HAVE to have that casing, no matter what!"

I searched on Google for fashion studs suppliers and how silly have I been to not turn to the one place where I shop online every month. With few clicks, I've entered Fashion Stud Heaven. My inner drag went all "Halleloo" just like Shangela Laquifa.

Second batch of studs coming in and I'm looking forward to studding more items. Can I have like a stud-o-holic party over here? Halleloo!

BUT! My favorite studs are...

Nicco Sky (left) and Jorge! Can somebody get me Jorge's full name so I can start googling for images?

WHO YOU TALKING TO LAH?

Facebook oh Facebook. Your existence has made mankind dumber. Facebook is like a social network for people to talk to themselves (at times).

Take for example, when you wake up; you would login to your Facebook and you would see tons of people saying "Good morning" on Facebook. And?? And??? You've got to continue that sentence, you know? Good morning, and??? What else? Are you going somewhere? Are you doing something? WHO YOU TALKING TO LAH?

Then there's "I'm hungry". So, you think Facebook is a restaurant or Facebook is The Horn Of Plenty? You post your status saying you are hungry and there will be food?

And last but not least, there's the "Good Night." Again, AND??? WHO YOU TALKING TO? I can bet if you had a nightmare, the first thing you would do upon waking up would be to post "I had a nightmare." AND??? Shouldn't you be like getting back to bed and get some rest?

People, if you're gonna greet good morning and good night, just go to your parents and say it. It's a lot better and means more than posting it on Facebook.

YOUR FACE HAS NO CONNECTION.

7 days in a week but those 7 days don't mean you gotta post up a picture of you, taken through the front camera each day to 'represent' all the 7 days in a week.

Self pictures are fine, hell I do it almost every day though I try to cut down but sometimes you just flip the camera to the front and snap ONE and you're like "dayumn, I look good in photo today" and next thing you know, you have like TEN in your gallery. Even if you want to caption your self picture, caption it with words that are actually related. It could be words that describe your mood shown through your expression BUT PLEASE don't caption your self pictures with the 7 days.

What is the damn connection between MONDAY and your face? Or TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY and the rest of the 7 days? Example;

MONDAY~
(this is DUMB SHIT! To caption your self picture with the day, Monday)

CAN I GET AN AMEN ON RUPAUL?

There's way too many reality shows these days. We have the age old American Idol, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway and few years back we started having horrible reality shows like The Kardashian (what's their point of existence?), Teen Moms (really?), Jersey Shore and all of the Real Housewives series. I've heard of this particular reality show but never bothered to actually go and watch it till a friend of mine, Soyer told me "how can you be gay when you don't watch RuPaul's Drag Race?" And so I did and I've been hooked ever since.

RuPaul's Drag Race is well, a drag race. Think America's Next Top Model meets American Idol meets Britney Spears (for the lip-sync part except they do it better). Each week, contestants are given challenges such as creating a look out of anything they can find from a designated area, coming up with a glamorous look, superhero/villain look, well just think of everything that is spectdragcular.And unlike eliminations in other reality shows, these drag superstars are required to...in the words of RuPaul, lip-sync for their lives and don't fuck it up.

The show features few of RuPaul's more well known tracks and though RuPaul abuses auto-tune more than Ke$ha ever will, it's still fun to boogie around. You gotta werk that ass.

Go get yourself some of RuPaul's Drag Race and I can guarantee you that you'll be hooked! Well, you will be if you like dramas, men calling each other bitches for the sake of calling, bitches reading one another (and in drag term, reading does not involve a book) and bitches calling out one another on their act. 

As the show progress, you really gain a deeper understanding on drag and also the respect for these people putting on their art into life. It's really good for the LGBT community. Can I get an AMEN?!

Season 5 of RuPaul's Drag Race premieres January 28th, 2013.

Season 1 Winner, Bebe Zahara Benet

Season 2 Winner, Tyra Sanchez
(original male photo not available)

Season 3 Winner, Raja
(looks familiar? That's cause he's the makeup artist throughout ANTM)

Season 4 Winner, Sharon Needles

All Stars Season Winner, Chad Michaels
(spitting image of CHER!)

MY ALL TIME Favorite Drag Superstar, Raven
(runner-up for both Season 2 and All Stars)

SHINE BRIGHt, LIKE A DIAMOND.

Here I am, 2 years later, still very much alive and re-planning my phuneral. Why? Cause things change over the years but some details remain the same, the changes are mainly due to the song choices. You may think I'm a whack but I take pleasure in nonsense like this. It's pretty much and people do enjoy it. So, let's start talking bout the death of me. I still wish to be alive for many years to come so let's hope God don't pull the trigger just yet. I ain't 'kiasu' but I am 'kiasi'.

If you receive this in your email, Facebook or in your mail-box, then you are invited to come. It's an exclusive phuneral for people closest to me only. I can't be having strangers or people I don't like attending cause if so, I'd be wanting to get out of my casket. My very Victorian-esque casket, think Vampire Diaries. Like, give the bitch some peace y'all!

The phuneral will be at an outdoor garden area. Color settings will still be the same as previous plans, RED, WHITE & BLACK. There will be a mix of black and white roses around my beautifully crafted casket. The reds will come in the seating as well as the drinks served. I want the wine or whatever alcohol served to be bloody red. And please, if you look unflattering in white, do come in black. I do not want you to look so unattractive that you make my phuneral look unattractive.

As the guests comes in, the pianist will play and sing to Die Young, Ke$ha. Once everyone is seated, the priest will begin his prayers and there will be Girl On Fire, Alicia Keys playing in the background. After the procession and the tons of prayers and crying, guests will proceed to queue up to have one last look at me, laying peacefully in my casket (to avoid any mishap), Anything Could Happen, Ellie Goulding will be playing and you will cry for me, bitches!

Here comes the eulogies. As my life-partner presents his eulogy, Popular Song, Mika plays softly in the background  As he slowly proceeds into how we met, We Found Love, Rihanna will be playing. Then he will talk about how we fell in love, S&M, Rihanna will be playing, followed by Fight For This Love, Cheryl Cole. Onto the subject of him cheating on me, Judas, Lady Gaga will be played. Then he talked about how I gave the OTHER guy the bitch-lesson of his life for trying to steal my man, Stupid Hoe, Nicki Minaj plays. As he speaks about how kind and forgiving I was to take him back, Want U Back, Cher Lloyd plays. He later explains how he loved me so much and Origin Of Love, Mika plays. Considering he has been with me till the end of my time, he will be telling everyone about our lives together. As juicy details about our sex lives is being spilled, Monster, Lady Gaga (cause we pillage and ransacked each other's 'lands.') plays and later on, he explains about my career and success in later life, Beautiful Dirty Rich, Lady Gaga plays. He reveals all the hardship we went through to get to where we are today, Government Hooker, Lady Gaga plays. I know that he will always be the one that be with me till the end, at this time The Edge Of Glory, Lady Gaga plays.

As we proceed, its time for someone to talk about my childhood and growing up. Born This Way plays very loudly but only the chorus part. As my childhood is being described, I Want It All, Kat Graham plays. As insecure as I was at times, people know I am who I am (Only Girl In The World, Rihanna plays). Describing my night life, Dance in the Dark plays. A slide show portraying my hardship to success plays alongside Primadonna, Marina & The Diamonds.

Now, the phuneral takes a breather (no pun intended) and guests are served with bloody red wine and cupcakes that says B.I.T.C.H. The waiters are strictly hunks clad in nothing but a bow tie and a very tight black boxer short shorts. I also forgot to mention that the ushers are clad in tuxedos (normal, right?). The Queen plays throughout the break.

 Last words from my life-partner came as he said I 'expired' a happy person, Blow Me (One Last Kiss), P!nk plays because it was revealed I died while we were doing some heavy 'cardio.'


As the phuneral ends, the priest will ask everyone again for a moment of silent and pray for me as they lay my casket down, six-feet under and that is when the ultimate track will play. As they lower down my casket, Diamonds by Rihanna plays and that concludes the service.

Guests can now leave feeling disturbed and phuneral favors are at the exit.

I SEE YOUR TRUE COLOR(S)

Malaysia is a multi-racial country, NOT Islamic country and so we are all bound to bump into many different antics from all these races. This post may be a tad bit sensitive to some and I am sorry if it offends you but it is all for the sake of info-sharing. C'mon, making a joke or two about races doesn't make you a racist. So, let's chill and have a laugh.

MALAYS:

The Malays are divided into 2 types. There are those who are very well educated or have received education. They are very fun to have a conversation with and they have common sense and also they do not make you feel like as if you want to judge them. These are the people that you can usually hang out with and are glad because they are much more open-minded. Then there are those who only knows how to 'rempit' and wolf-whistle. These, I'll just leave them at that. The Malays are very friendly and they tend to talk to you like they've known you for ages. Some find it annoying but it is their culture.

INDIANS:

The Indians are very friendly. Extremely friendly...to other Indians. You will see them in eateries, supermarkets, wet markets talking to each other like they are relatives but the fact is that, they've only met today. There are also 2 types of Indians. There are those who are the well educated, who enjoys a proper conversation and then there are Indians who talks so fast that there's no comma whatsoever. Even the fullstop is on their forehead. Not only they talk fast but they talk loud. You see these types of Indians talking and you think that they are fighting or someone had just slept with their husband when in truth, they were just chit-chatting.

CHINESE:

The Chinese most definitely have their types. You have the Chinese who are also well educated who carries proper, structured and conversation that makes sense and you have the Chinese which us, Chinese label as Pig-Dog a.k.a 'TuKao'. Nuff said.

Now, in the fast pacing world of 2012, another 'race' has emerged from the abyss of humanity. This race, they are called The Gays.

THE GAYS:

They are either a very quite bunch or a very dumb bunch. The quite bunch are usually the smart ones or the ones that observe while the dumb bunch are the ones that ask questions and all their questions are such a mournful sound. The dumb ones likes to ask questions like 'When is your last sex?' The sentence itself is disturbing. Shouldn't it be 'When was the last time you had sex?' but still, it's none of anybody's concern, no? They also like to ask if you like guys or if you are gay or bisexual. Well, they just like questions in general.

Put all these races together in a bus and this is what you will get;

MALAYS :- Playing their mp3 out loud on their phone like as if everybody in the bus would enjoy their taste in music.

INDIANS :- They'd be talking to the person next to them or opposite of them like they are relatives or close friends but they are actually...strangers.

CHINESE :- They do nothing except plug in their earphones and space out. Occasionally they sing out loud thinking nobody can hear them.

THE GAYS :- They don't talk, they don't do anything apart from trying to figure out who is gay in the bus. And once they managed to spot one of their kind, they stare.

PLEASE, DON'T.

We as humans, have rights but just because we have rights don't always make it right for us to wear certain things especially when it concerns people with bigger size. Just a heads up, this is not a post to make fun of people of bigger size. I myself, am not the average Joe size so hey, if I am poking fun then it's me I am poking fun at.

When it comes to clothing and style, it can be quite tricky if you are not a regular sample size person. Yes, big is beautiful, big is bold, big is brave, beauty is in the eye of beholder and God made us all beautiful. Those craps aside, you do want to look good, right? You can be fat and fabulous but please don't go making all the wrong decisions on what to wear. Instead of wearing what to wear, fat people tend to wear what NOT to wear. *Sorry for the lack of images in this post as they can be a tad bit too offensive.

HORIZONTAL STRIPES

Oh Lord, no. This is one of the biggest mistake that fat people make. Horizontal print makes you look even wider than you already are so stop buying those horizontal print tees no matter how much you like them. Hey, I love stripes and all those sailor-themed clothes but you can't because of your size. Kill those horizontal stripes, opt for vertical stripes IF you must have stripes in your wardrobe. Vertical ones elongates your body instead of widen it like horizontal.

ANIMAL PRINTS

Let's just say you wouldn't want the hunter mistaken you for an animal? Plus, they are kinda yesterday?

TUBE TOPS

Girls, please...do not and I repeat, do not obstruct traffic with those overflowing flabs that are screaming to come out due to being hugged by that piece of tube top you are wearing. The world has enough natural disasters as it is that we don't need a man-made (or woman-made) disaster.

SINGLETS

Men, please...no. The rule to wearing a singlet is that you MUST at least have a visible collar bone to put on a singlet. If you don't have, just cover it all up.

SHORT SHORTS

These shorts looks real gay but other than that, if it is on a fat person, you just draw attention to you thighs. Then you rant and be emo about it. You were asking for it, no?

SPANDEX/TIGHTS

For the love of God, stop trying to squeeze your fats out with spandex. Yes, wearing oversized clothes can make you look bigger but that doesn't give you the free-pass to wear an extremely body hugging piece of clothing. Just find something of your size that you feel comfortable in, not something that will make people stare at you. Being above the average size, we hate to be stared at.

THONGS

This is a crime. When you are fat, you don't show your thong. You, instead, show your butt crack or butt fats so please stay away from thongs.

SKINNY JEANS

Just because it's called skinny jeans don't mean it will make you look slimmer. Even skinny people look bad in skinny jeans. 

LAYERING

When you are above the average size, you HAVE to stay away from layering. Even an additional layer will make you look thicker than you already are. One piece is enough. Don't go put on a undershirt, a jacket and a scarf. That just screams fashion murder.

TUCKING IN

Don't attempt to tuck in your clothes inside as it makes your waistline even more obvious and also don't try to tuck in your jeans into your ankle high shoes, it will never fit.

SMALL BAGS

No, when you are big, you don't carry teeny tiny bag thinking you are Tinkerbell. Just stay with something medium or large in size. Big bags are in, you can even stuff skinny bitches inside if they stare.

Also, don't moan and grieve over how clothes looks good on mannequins and models because EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD ON THEM. They are not human!

Unfortunately, no but just wear things that are right for your body size.

BOYS, BOYS, BOYS

There once was a time. A time where BOY BANDS ruled the world of pop music. More than 10 years has passed and the world was peaceful with solo music and country bands. Now, the world has yet another era to digest and to acknowledge. The second wave of BOY BAND ERA. The Boy Band era has been proved to be dangerous as girls screams before they speak, shouts with each sight of their beloved boy band's posters and they sing and sing and sing to the tunes even if they can't sing. Yes, that age has strike once again. Humanity is left to fend against The Boy Bands. Though most of the Boy Bands back then were carefully exorcised, well...they all just vanished into thin air, the world of pop music has never given up on the search for THE NEXT BOY BAND.

The year, 2012. 3 Boy Bands were discovered and they are on the loose with their pop, heart-melting music.

ONE DIRECTION
5 Years Later: NO DIRECTION?

THE WANTED
5 Years Later: THE UNWANTED?

BIG TIME RUSH
5 Years Later: NO RUSH?

Over the years, we've learnt that few things usually takes place with boy bands.

#1. One or more will leave to pursue a solo career and fail miserably.

#2. After one or more left, they will start arguing.

#3. Public statements will be made that someone wants more solos in their MVs.

#4. They will come out and start ANOTHER boy band (the horror)

#5. One or more will come out from the closet after many many years.

REMEMBER THEM?

WESTLIFE
GOD-FATHER OF BOY BANDS
Where are they now: One left the band for a solo career to have an epic failed career instead while one came out of the closet - MARK FEEHILY. Still singing but does only COVERS.

N'SYNC
JT'S HAIR!
Where are they now: Props to JT for making it quite big with the solo career while one came out of the closet - LANCE BASS

BLUE
EVERY SONG IS ABOUT SEX FOR THEM
Where are they now: Three tried solo career to fall flat while one came out of the closet as a bisexual - DUNCAN JAMES

BACKSTREET BOYS
FATHER OF ALL BOY BANDS
Where are they now: Two tried a solo career to fail. Two or more suspected to be gay but none came out.