SHINE BRIGHt, LIKE A DIAMOND.

Here I am, 2 years later, still very much alive and re-planning my phuneral. Why? Cause things change over the years but some details remain the same, the changes are mainly due to the song choices. You may think I'm a whack but I take pleasure in nonsense like this. It's pretty much and people do enjoy it. So, let's start talking bout the death of me. I still wish to be alive for many years to come so let's hope God don't pull the trigger just yet. I ain't 'kiasu' but I am 'kiasi'.

If you receive this in your email, Facebook or in your mail-box, then you are invited to come. It's an exclusive phuneral for people closest to me only. I can't be having strangers or people I don't like attending cause if so, I'd be wanting to get out of my casket. My very Victorian-esque casket, think Vampire Diaries. Like, give the bitch some peace y'all!

The phuneral will be at an outdoor garden area. Color settings will still be the same as previous plans, RED, WHITE & BLACK. There will be a mix of black and white roses around my beautifully crafted casket. The reds will come in the seating as well as the drinks served. I want the wine or whatever alcohol served to be bloody red. And please, if you look unflattering in white, do come in black. I do not want you to look so unattractive that you make my phuneral look unattractive.

As the guests comes in, the pianist will play and sing to Die Young, Ke$ha. Once everyone is seated, the priest will begin his prayers and there will be Girl On Fire, Alicia Keys playing in the background. After the procession and the tons of prayers and crying, guests will proceed to queue up to have one last look at me, laying peacefully in my casket (to avoid any mishap), Anything Could Happen, Ellie Goulding will be playing and you will cry for me, bitches!

Here comes the eulogies. As my life-partner presents his eulogy, Popular Song, Mika plays softly in the background  As he slowly proceeds into how we met, We Found Love, Rihanna will be playing. Then he will talk about how we fell in love, S&M, Rihanna will be playing, followed by Fight For This Love, Cheryl Cole. Onto the subject of him cheating on me, Judas, Lady Gaga will be played. Then he talked about how I gave the OTHER guy the bitch-lesson of his life for trying to steal my man, Stupid Hoe, Nicki Minaj plays. As he speaks about how kind and forgiving I was to take him back, Want U Back, Cher Lloyd plays. He later explains how he loved me so much and Origin Of Love, Mika plays. Considering he has been with me till the end of my time, he will be telling everyone about our lives together. As juicy details about our sex lives is being spilled, Monster, Lady Gaga (cause we pillage and ransacked each other's 'lands.') plays and later on, he explains about my career and success in later life, Beautiful Dirty Rich, Lady Gaga plays. He reveals all the hardship we went through to get to where we are today, Government Hooker, Lady Gaga plays. I know that he will always be the one that be with me till the end, at this time The Edge Of Glory, Lady Gaga plays.

As we proceed, its time for someone to talk about my childhood and growing up. Born This Way plays very loudly but only the chorus part. As my childhood is being described, I Want It All, Kat Graham plays. As insecure as I was at times, people know I am who I am (Only Girl In The World, Rihanna plays). Describing my night life, Dance in the Dark plays. A slide show portraying my hardship to success plays alongside Primadonna, Marina & The Diamonds.

Now, the phuneral takes a breather (no pun intended) and guests are served with bloody red wine and cupcakes that says B.I.T.C.H. The waiters are strictly hunks clad in nothing but a bow tie and a very tight black boxer short shorts. I also forgot to mention that the ushers are clad in tuxedos (normal, right?). The Queen plays throughout the break.

 Last words from my life-partner came as he said I 'expired' a happy person, Blow Me (One Last Kiss), P!nk plays because it was revealed I died while we were doing some heavy 'cardio.'


As the phuneral ends, the priest will ask everyone again for a moment of silent and pray for me as they lay my casket down, six-feet under and that is when the ultimate track will play. As they lower down my casket, Diamonds by Rihanna plays and that concludes the service.

Guests can now leave feeling disturbed and phuneral favors are at the exit.