YOU CAN'T FIX STUPIDITY

Ah Lians will always be Ah Lians and Ah Bengs will always be Ah Bengs. Put them in a cinema and they are bound to annoy the hell out of you due to their lack of everything.

Everyone should know that you are to turn off or at least put your phone on silent mode in the cinema and even if you are that chatty, you could whisper instead of talking like really loud. But these Ah Lians and Ah Bengs seated next to me was not very considerate of others. I was so horribly annoyed that I was THIS CLOSE to telling the Ah Lian 'bitch, shut the fuck up' but I managed to control myself because I pity them. I pity that they simply choose a movie to watch. Watching ABRAHAM LINCOLN, VAMPIRE HUNTER was definitely not a smooth journey with these hooligans around.

They were;

• talking on the phone out loud.
• asking 101 questions about the movie.
• TRANSLATING THE ENTIRE MOVIE from English to Mandarin to each other.
• when 54 years old Abe was shown in the movie, they asked each other "who is this?" Like SERIOUSLY? For like an hour, you've been watching the titular character, can't you at least recognize the god damn beard that Abe Lincoln is famous for?
• Each time somebody in the movie calls out to Abe as "Abraham Lincoln", one of the Ah Bengs would say out loud 'Lincoln'. Yeah, we get it that the movie is TEACHING you how to pronounce the word LINCOLN. Hey, newsflash- I've learnt that back in primary 3 when I bought the storybook on Abe's life.
• kept guessing who is the vampire and who is not and later on asking WHY that person is not a vampire.
• Half an hour (more or less) after we found out that Henry Sturges is a vampire, the Ah Lian asked "EH?! Why is he a vampire? I thought he's a human." *facepalm to death.
• when Mary Todd came into the picture, the Ah Lian kept saying "she's a vampire! she's a vampire!" OH MOTHER OF PRESIDENTS, Mary Todd is the wife of Abraham Lincoln.

Just an advise to all the Ah Lians and Ah Bengs out there;

• Please do your research if you are going to watch a movie that you are obviously clueless about. Hey, I do watch CINA movies from time to time and I may watch based on the costume designs in the movie or the plot and if I have no idea what the movie is about, there's always GOOGLE.
• Bitch please, you are NOT GOOGLE TRANSLATE so don't translate the entire god damn movie of 105 minutes from English to Mandarin. If we want a Cina movie, we would have went for Cina movies, not Abe Lincoln. And there's a thing called SUBTITLES. If you still can't understand the movie after the subtitles, kindly go home, turn on your gas stove and lay down.
• If know nothing about vampire lore, myths and legends, then do your research. It can't be that hard or just refer to http://kthxbaii.blogspot.com/2012/06/im-gonna-do-bad-things-to-you.html

How much a person enjoys a movie is determined by the plot of the movie, how well the casts brings out the best of their characters, other shenanigans of elements in the movie AND the person whom they go with. My experience watching ABRAHAM LINCOLN, VAMPIRE HUNTER was good but the 5 BENGS & LIANS seated next to me made me feel like committing murder. I could have swore that if I was a vampire, I'd glamour them into cutting off their voice box.

PS: If you're an AH LIAN or an AH BENG and you are offended by this post...well, whoever asked you to be one?