Monday, 7 January 2013

I'M GONNA DO BAD THINGS TO YOU.

Blood suckers, creatures of the nights, satan's spawn, undeads. These are just some of the monikers that has been given to a race of creature we all know as VAMPIRES. Back in the days, vampires were scary and they come out in the night to feed on humans. Present day vampires are a tad bit nicer and if you are really good, they might even fall in love with you.

Over the years, we've had so many types of vampires that there's no longer a stereotype on vampires. We've had;
VAMPIRES FROM TWILIGHT SAGA
They are extremely fair, they have perfectly coiffed hair and they sparkle under the sun. When they are stake, they just die off. Also, vampires from Twilight are very protective of Bella, the emotionless teenager. Some of them drinks animal blood to avoid from harming humans. In order to be turned, they have to drink vampire blood and be dead.
VAMPIRES FROM TRUE BLOOD
They are extremely cold in personality and most of them has this certain affection for a fairy hybrid slut named Sookie Stackhouse. Some of them also drinks Tru Blood which is a type of bottled drink made to sample blood. When they are staked, they explode into red mist and all that's left behind are their gut and flesh and gooey mess of red thick blood. In order to be turned into one of them, you have to be dead with vampire blood in your system and have your 'maker' spoon you and sleep. By the next day, you're a vamp. Vampires obey their maker like a loyal puppy.
VAMPIRES FROM VAMPIRE DIARIES
They either drink by draining people or they steal from the hospital's blood bank. Also comes with perfect hair and protects an Elena. When they are staked, they go all veiny, a tad bit greenish and becomes rock hard (much like their abs). Some of them drinks animal blood too. Talk about fetish. To be turned, you also have to have vampire blood in your system and be killed. In matter of hours, you're a vamp.
VAMPIRES FROM DARK SHADOWS
Well, technically there's only ONE vampire in DARK SHADOWS and he has long nails, like those nails people grow to dig their ears and nose. They are fairer or should I say, far pale compared to the vampires in Twilight. Unlike vampires from other movies/series, the vampire here drinks directly from human beings and drain them dry. To be turned, the method is similar to Vampire Diaries.


Some of the things ALL vampires have in common are:

  • they share the same amount of hatred for werewolves though in some situation, they team up with the were-people.
  • they are all extremely high on the sex part and the sex is earth-shattering.
  • you have to have vampire blood in your system in order to be turned.
  • they all have certain affection towards human beings.
  • they are rich to the core.
  • there's always a witch, a shaman or a brujo in their lives.
  • they all have super strength, super speed and regenerates.
  • all vampires stated in the above movies/series are vulnerable to silver except the ones in Vamp. Diaries.
  • vampires can make people do things against their will. In True Blood, it's known as GLAMOURING. In Vampire Diaries, it's known as COMPELLING. To me, it's called FUCKING UP YOUR BRAINS.
  • vampires' sperms are very much dead like they are.

So here's to the creatures of the night. Our lives are a little bit more exciting with vampires in it. If you were given a how unfortunate chance to be a vampire, would you embrace it? I would. Blood taste not too bad and let's face it, it's the eternal youth that is the deal breaker. Best be turned before you reach 30.

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